Age should never be a barrier to finding love. So if you’ve found yourself falling for an older man, be sure take a look at our list of the 5 things that you need to know about dating older men.
1. Children – his and yours
There are actually two things to consider here – his children, and your potential children. Firstly, his children. As a man gets older, it becomes increasingly likely that he will have fathered some children along the way. These children will take up his time, whether they live with him or he spends his weekends with them. You will probably need to be prepared to be lower on his list of priorities sometimes, even if his children are grown up. You might be fine with this, but it’s important to consider carefully.
Secondly, your potential children. If he has children already, does he want any more? If he doesn’t, are you prepared to sacrifice your desire for children to find love? The last thing you should do is enter the relationship thinking ‘I’ll change his mind’ – you most probably won’t and it’s a huge gamble. Most importantly talk everything through; these aren’t issues that are just going to go away.
2. His mindset
Meeting someone later in life means they’re more likely to have become set in their ways. Their ideas about the way the world should work will be fully formed and it’s very unlikely they’ll change. We’re not saying older men will be completely inflexible but you shouldn’t think you can change their ways once you’re in a relationship. That’s not to say they will completely lack a youthful mindset: a study by Nickelodeon UK found that men remain ‘immature’ well into their early 40s, while women mature at an average age of 32.
3. Cultural references
We use cultural references to express who we are and where we’ve come from. If you find it odd that his favourite bands are Genesis and ELO, then you will need to decide whether you can get used to that, or whether you will feel increasingly isolated. Also remember that older men will have the same dilemma with any references you make – they may make them feel old and distant from you.
4. His health
As a rule, the older you are the more health problems you get. He may be 45 and fit now, but when you’re reaching middle age, he might be classed as an OAP and will most likely suffer from the health issues that hit men of a certain age. These problems have to become yours too if you’re to have a happy, understanding relationship.
5. His energy levels
Just as his health will possibly deteriorate, your older man’s energy levels will also drop over time. Yes, we all know some lazy men our own age, but older men might need to go to bed earlier than you, and they’re probably not going to find late-night house parties very appealing. Then again, you might not either, so you might be perfect for each other.